If you would like Dinny’s advice, e-mail your letter to Forgive@HBMag.com.
Dear Forgive Coach:
One of my best friends is about to make the mistake of her life! She is going to marry a guy that NONE of us (her close friends) like and we all think he is a sociopath. We are all really upset about the situation and because I am going to be her Maid of Honor, I have been assigned by the group to take her aside and try to talk some sense into her. She is such a sweet girl and I can see what she is doing. Her parents had a nasty marriage and she couldn’t wait to get out of the house and make her own home and her own life and she has picked someone that I know is going to be emotionally abusive at the very least. I might risk losing her as a friend, but I can’t stand by and do nothing! Help!! – KR
Dear KR:
I believe you when you say you are trying to save your friend from a big hurt, but I feel I need to take you back to Radical Forgiveness 101! Radical Forgiveness is not just about taking a situation involving anger and resentment and shifting perception, as many believe. I hear so often that “I have nothing to forgive,” and so this very valuable technique of how to see the world gets passed over. Radical Forgiveness is most importantly about seeing that everything happens for a reason and we draw situations to us that will give us the opportunity to grow. By jumping in and trying to “save” your friend, you will only prolong a lesson that she must have a need to learn. You will most likely upset her and she will dig her heels in more firmly about being with this guy and at the same time feel alienated from a group of loving friends. Consider showing her your love by knowing that she will survive whatever she encounters and come out the other side as an even more beautiful person than she is right now. Believe that she has a Higher Power that is watching over her and this path that she is on is going to eventually lead her to growth and expansion. No one can walk in your shoes and that goes for all of us. Be there for her energetically for whatever she might need and you might all get a wonderful surprise with the outcome!
Blessings,
Dinny
Dinny Evans is a Certified Radical Forgiveness and Radical Manifestation Coach. She has been working with the Institute for Radical Forgiveness and Colin Tipping since 2007. To find out more about her coaching practice, her workshops and support groups, visit www.forgivecoach.com.
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