Dear Jen,
I recently went on a date and he talked about his ex-wife the whole time. I found this to be very annoying. Do you have any advice on how to handle this situation if it occurs again?
Dear Restless in Reno,
After conducting over 2000 interviews and listening to feedback from over 20,000 dates at It’s Just Lunch, I have come to the conclusion that talking about your ex on a first or second date is the biggest mistake singles are making! I don’t blame you for being annoyed. The first date should be about getting to know each other. How is that going to happen if you spend all of your time talking about your ex instead of learning about your date? Even if your date starts asking questions about your ex, you should avoid the conversation.
In the case of Restless in Reno, I would recommend saying something like, “I appreciate that you want to share your experience with me, but I would prefer to get to know each other better before getting into details about our past. I’m interested in getting to know who you are now and where you see yourself in the future.”
Don’t be confused; even if someone is asking you about your ex, they really don’t want to know. Your first date should always be light and fun. If you spend all night talking about your ex, your date will not be having fun and they might conclude that you are not over your ex; or you wouldn’t have spent all evening talking about him/her.
Keep learning, keep trying, and keep dating,
Jen
Jenifer Rose, Owner of It’s Just Lunch (registered trademark) Personalized Dating Service is also the Creator and Producer of The Plush Life on Channel 2, Sundays @ 5:30 pm. Listen to Jenifer on The Buzz 1270 am on Sundays at 11:00 am. Her live radio show “Skirted Issues” covers dating, relationship, intimacy and romance topics.
