Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” When allowing outside sources to control your feelings and emotions, you become the victim.

Allowing yourself to become the victim is a problem that Radical Forgiveness (RF), a tool used by an RF coach, addresses. Affirmations such as, “everything is perfect exactly as it is” will not lead to forgiveness. Changes must be made and steps must be taken within yourself. These tools help one get to a point where one can give up being the victim. It is a matter of perspective; begin by viewing an uncomfortable or unpleasant situation as happening for a reason, one that will lead to personal growth and empowerment. Once the situation can be viewed as a learning experience rather than a victimization RF begins. The forgiveness occurs when it is realized that there is nothing to forgive.

RF challenges you to take full responsibility for every situation that you find yourself in. Taking responsibility does not mean transferring the blame onto your self. You may notice that the situations you find yourself in could have been unconsciously created by you. Take this as an opportunity to heal and grow. You will find that by taking responsibility, blame cannot exist. The further challenge is in accepting that there are no exceptions to this rule.

Traditional Forgiveness (TF) gives you the opportunity to let “bygone’s be bygone’s,” accept the situation and the conditions then move on. The truth is that it is nearly impossible to really forgive under these circumstances. “Stuffing feelings under the rug” does not mean that they will not re-surface at some point; it takes Radical Forgiveness techniques to truly heal. Using just TF, the rug will eventually be pulled back and there will lie the uncomfortable and often ugly thoughts, creating resentment. In an attempt to reach traditional forgiveness, stuffing under the rug can create blocks that have been linked to disease.

RF moves deeper. Reaching full acceptance means truly believing that everything has happened for a reason. Have you ever looked back on an occurrence that seemed truly horrible at the time it was happening and realized something far better came out of the situation? That is the core of Radical Forgiveness. At some point, see why something happened and know it turned out better. Then move towards finding the perfection of the event and you will move through the situation that much faster. Once perspective is changed, the bigger picture is revealed.
Having a shift in perception in the long run can be remarkably freeing. Experiencing the circumstances of life without blame provides a new and revitalizing view of the world, one that is incredibly more joyful.

References:

1. Radical Forgiveness Making Room for the Miracle by Colin Tipping
2. Stanford Forgiveness Projects: www.learningtoforgive.com
3. Healing with Love by Leonard Laskow, M.D.

Written by Dinny Evans |

As we head out the door to work each day, how often does it occur to us that we are taking our entire self with us – our private as well as our professional self?  The weekends and our off time have been packed with personal activities and chores. Sometimes those personal activities involve a sports activity, cleaning the house, going on the monthly trip to Costco and getting caught up with bill paying.

The question that arises is how easy is it to flip a switch when we move from work to home and back again?  Once the work week begins again, we look at anywhere from 32 to 50 plus hours of interaction with our coworkers and the big bosses. The personal relationships and issues from the weekend and after hours carry into the work place. Conversely, the conflicts and energy in those long hours at work get taken home. We don’t often see how they tangle our emotions and bring unrelated energy to a situation that is far from its source.

Radical Forgiveness author Colin Tipping has coined the term “humenergy,” which describes a subtle human energy brought to the workplace by everyone in the company. It originates in the subconscious mind and when it goes unrecognized, can create absolute chaos within a company.

The five stages of Radical Forgiveness can be used within a corporate structure to minimize the influence of unrelated energy:

1) Explaining the situation and the upset

2) Feeling the feelings associated with it

3) Collapsing the energy field around it

4) Reframing the situation

5) Integrating the new perception of the situation

The “Balancing Humenergy” worksheet can take you through a professional situation that wakes you up in the middle of the night just as the Radical Forgiveness worksheet does in an upset with your child or your spouse. Breaking the energy, taking what you are responsible for into account is where the power of this work begins.

When looking at a workplace that has hot spots, a tool in conjunction with the stages is having a “buddy.”  Finding someone at work who will assist you in recognizing work-related issues will give you an opportunity to move forward.

When someone around you is showering you with negative energy, applying the stages of Radical Forgiveness allows you to not take it personally. With calmness you can listen to their venting and not take on that negative energy. You can reframe the situation, seeing the bigger picture for everyone involved.

The key is bringing in Spiritual Intelligence to assist in seeing that what is happening at home is not separate from what is happening at work. The bottom line is that when life is out of balance, that imbalance affects everything! By making this reorganization and jumping into a solution, major shifts take place and the life you want begins to unfold. Take the time to identify where the work can be done and see how all aspects of

your life experience can improve.

References:

1. Tipping, Colin C. Spiritual Intelligence at Work. Global 13 Publications Inc., 2004

2. http://www.QEMSystem.com.

3. http://www.radicalforgiveness.com.

For more info, contact Dinny Evans, Certified Radical Forgiveness Coach at (530) 414-1420.

Breaking Free – Forgiving Your Parents

Written by Dinny Evans|

Nothing keeps us stuck in our lives as much as an unhealed childhood wound.  Such wounds can range from severe physical or sexual abuse, to that of simply feeling unloved, abandoned or unappreciated by one’s parents.

If left unhealed, these wounds become the touchstones for our sense of who we are, beliefs about what our worth is, what we deserve and how successful we will be in our lives. They affect every aspect of our lives and all our relationships.

A Wound Becomes A Repeating Pattern.

We subconsciously act out these wounds over and over again, enfolding them into a subtle, but deadly, pattern of repetition.  Each replay creates still more pain – until we say “enough is enough!”

“Well, Enough is Enough Now.”

Assuming they are still alive, the chances are good that your relationship with your parents will improve dramatically, as well. “Breaking Free” is not only for you; they feel the benefits, too. Their energy changes in line with yours. It can make a dramatic difference to the whole family dynamic. You will be amazed.

- Reprinted from Colin Tippings Weblog

The above words are how Colin Tipping describes his newest program, “Breaking Free— 21 Days to Forgiving Your Parents.” Colin Tipping is the author of Radical Forgiveness: Making Room for the Miracle,  Radical Manifestation—The Fine Art of Creating the Life you Want, Getting to Heaven on a Harley: A ‘Radical Karma’ Workbook,  and is the facilitator of many programs and workshops.

It is quite common to blame the state of our lives on the experiences we had in our childhood years. We talk about things that happened within the home and familial relationships, at the injustices we felt we experienced, as the cause for our unhappiness and the chaos in our lives. We talk about “dysfunctional families” and elaborate on how what someone did to us and how it had a great effect on our future life experiences.   Blaming someone else, according to the principles of Radical Forgiveness, only supports blame and resentment.

It is possible to shift this point of view and see things very differently. Understanding and taking full responsibility for our lives can be a challenge; it can be a painful process, but one that is worth the effort.  Owning responsibility for our life can be extremely empowering.

Radical Forgiveness is a program that anyone can use to heal themselves, grow spiritually and raise their vibration. The stages of

Radical Forgiveness are extremely important and while they look straightforward, many will need the guidance of a coach.

The five stages of Radical Forgiveness:

First: tell the story.

Second: feel the feelings.

Third:  collapse the story.

Fourth: reframe the story.

Fifth: integrate the new story into your being.

Once you have worked through the stages of Radical Forgiveness, you will begin to ask yourself, “Why in the world did I hold onto my resentments and grief for so long”, it is then that you will clearly see that everything happened for a reason and there is a divine purpose.  Once this purpose is recognized, you are able to move forward with vision and hope.

Those that have experienced the benefits of the Radical Forgiveness program have described it in this way: “compassion”; “shifts of energy” and “now my heart is feeling the love.”

The processes and tools available through the work of Radical Forgiveness provide participants relief, leading to a life full of joy!

References:

1) wordpress.com/tag/breaking-free-21-day-online-program-for-forgiving-your-parents/

2) Radical Forgiveness, Making Room for the Miracle (2nd edition, paperback) by Colin C. Tipping, Quest Publishing and Distribution.

3) www.radicalforgiveness.com

For more info, contact Dinny Evans, Certified Radical Forgiveness Coach at (530) 414-1420.

By Colin Tipping |

Ordinary forgiveness is ‘letting bygones be bygones’. A certain willingness to forgive is implied but the belief something wrong happened is never questioned.

“You did that to me, but I’ll let you off the hook and forgive you.”

Research based at Seattle University, WA showed that ordinary forgiveness:

(a) is universally difficult.

(b) takes a long time – typically years. (Success was defined as finally feeling peaceful about the situation.)

(c) The more people tried to ‘will’ forgiveness, the longer it took.

(d) Most people required extensive therapy before any movement occurred at all.

Radical Forgiveness on the other hand, has none of these difficulties. It can be virtually instantaneous; it is easy to do; it requires no therapy and very little intelligence beyond being able to follow some very simple steps.

No Crime Has Happened

Holding on to the belief that ‘a crime’ has occurred while trying to forgive gives traditional forgiveness the quality of an oxymoron. How can you possibly forgive if you are invested in that judgment? No wonder it takes years! Qualities of compassion, humility and tolerance move us towards forgiveness, but they do not constitute forgiveness itself. So when it does finally occur time has simply worn down our attachment to our judgments. When we say “time heals” perhaps we are recognizing that we will some day simply become weary of holding on. But oh, what a struggle!

Radical Forgiveness is Easy

Radical Forgiveness is easy and instantaneous because it is a shift in perception that allows you to understand that, in truth, looked at from the perspective of the spiritual ‘big picture,’ nothing wrong ever happened.

What brings about such a radical shift in perception – especially in situations where one feels very victimized and hurt?  Surprisingly, it requires only a willingness to accept the possibility that life is not simply a series of random and haphazard events but is, in fact, a Divine plan that is unfolding for us exactly how we need it for our own spiritual growth. In other words, every event, however pleasant or unpleasant, has been called forth by a Higher Aspect of ourselves that knows exactly what we need for our own healing. When we live more out of that idea than the victim story, life begins to work perfectly.

So how do we get there? Well, lack of forgiveness is nothing more than stuck energy, caused by past judgments, criticisms, blame and resentments. The way forward is to use tools or processes that help us release that stuck energy, raise our vibration and become the loving beings we have the potential to be.

The Process of Radical Forgiveness

Radical Forgiveness is as basic as following these five steps:

1. Tell the Story: You must begin from where you are. You are a spiritual being having a human experience that involves emotional experiences. We make up that emotions are undesirable and wrong, so when we get upset about something we make up a ‘victim’s story’ and blame others for our unhappiness. Having that story heard and witnessed is the first step to letting it go. Likewise, the first step in releasing victimhood is to own it fully. So, in this step, you tell your story, and it is honored as your truth in the moment.

2. Feel the Feelings: Here you are encouraged to feel the feelings. It is the vital step that many so-called spiritual people want to leave out thinking that they shouldn’t have ‘negative’ feelings. That’s denial and misses the crucial point that the feelings is where the authentic power is and that our strength, in fact, lies in our vulnerability and our willingness to show up as fully human. You cannot heal what you don’t feel. When people access their pain, this is the beginning of their healing.

But this is not necessarily digging up the past. In fact, doing so is not necessary at all. Whatever is upsetting you now represents the past and following the feelings (the energy), as they are occurring while you tell your story, automatically heals the past pain. It is not even necessary to know what the original pain was.

3. Collapse the Story: This takes the power out of the victim story you made up. The Navajo Indians had a ceremony for doing this. Anyone with a grievance could come to the circle three times to tell their story, and they would be heard. On the fourth occasion everyone would turn their backs. “Enough already! Your story is just a story. There’s no real truth to it – it is just an illusion. We have heard it three times and we no longer wish to give it power. Let it go and then let yourself move towards what is really true.”

4. Do a Radical Forgiveness Reframe: Here we replace the ‘illusionary’ story with another story – the Radical Forgiveness ‘story.’ This one says that what appeared to have happened, far from being a tragedy, was in fact exactly what we wanted to experience and was in that sense, absolutely perfect.

This is often very difficult to accept, but the good thing is it does not require you to see WHY it is perfect, or that you must GET the lesson involved. It is nearly always beyond our ability to comprehend anyway, so it’s a waste of time trying to figure it out. Willingness is all that is required You just have to be willing to open to the idea that there is a gift in it somewhere, and then choose peace. It really is that simple. When we get used to thinking this way, it’s amazing how simple and easy life becomes. It’s so freeing to stop resisting (judging) life and surrender to what wants to naturally occur. Life with Radical Forgiveness can be very sweet.

5. Integration: After you have allowed yourself to be willing to see the perfection in the situation, it is necessary to integrate that change at the cellular level. That means integrating it into the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies so it becomes a part of who you are. It’s like saving what you have done on the computer to the hard drive. Only then will it become permanent. Breathwork is the best way to integrate this work. Other ways to integrate is through speaking affirmations, walking, doing forgiveness worksheets, ritual and ceremony.

Radical Forgiveness is simple, quick and brings immediate relief. This forgiveness is permanent and when one has integrated it well enough into everyday life for it to become a way of life, life becomes infinitely less stressful, more peaceful and a whole lot happier.

Colin Tipping, is the acknowledged authority on the application of Radical Forgiveness for the “healing” of individuals, families, races, corporations, and communities.

References:

1. To learn more about Colin and other Radical Forgiveness strategies, visit www.radicalforgiveness.com

2. Radical Forgiveness, Making Room for the Miracle (2nd edition, paperback), by Colin C. Tipping, Quest Publishing and Distribution

For more information, contact Certified Radical Forgiveness Coach, at (530)414-1420 or visit her website at www.forgivecoach.com.

Anyone who wants optimal health and is open to the idea that mind, body and spirit are all one, and that Radical Forgiveness is one of the keys to achieving balance between all three.

Radical Health empowers us to be all that we can be in mind, body and spirit and enables us to take responsibility for our health.

One of the ways we can keep ourselves healthy in mind, body and spirit is by making sure we are free of repressed toxic emotions. There is research that shows that lack of forgiveness is bad for your health. Holding onto to resentment, anger, revenge, blame and so on raises blood pressure and leads to all sort of diseases.

1. To see what may happen to your cells when you hold onto these emotions visit the website below and read the article written by a physician gastroenterologist:  http://www.radicalforgiveness.com/contentnew/health-letter-from-a-physician.asp

2. Many people, including researchers, believe there are only two predictors of cancer. One is the genetic factor. The other is how people handle their emotions. It turns out that people who deny or repress their feelings are more likely to get cancer than those who allow themselves to feel them. To read about this study and how to recognize the “Type ‘C’ Personality,” visit:  http://www.radicalforgiveness.com/contentnew/type-c-connection.asp

3. To ignore the emotional component of cancer and other immune system- related diseases is to ignore a huge part of any healing protocol. To read how Radical Forgiveness can be used as a complementary treatment for cancer, visit here: http://www.radicalforgiveness.com/contentnew/rf-help-for-cancer.asp

4. Definitions: Complementary treatment means that it can be used adjunctively to or alongside traditional western medicine. Alternative medicine, on the other hand, as the name implies, is any form of medicine that is not traditional medicine, and which traditional medicine seldom recognizes. http://www.radicalforgiveness.com/contentnew/alternative-medicine.asp

5. Weight Loss: It is not generally recognized that the physical weight we carry may be a reflection of the emotional weight we have been unable to release. To find out how Radical Forgiveness may be an effective weight loss tool, go to: http://www.radicalforgiveness.com/contentnew/weight-loss-through-radical-forgiveness.asp

References:

1. The Type ‘C’ Connection, Temoshok & Dreyer: Plume 1993

2. Tipping, Colin; Radical Empowerment Strategies for Conscious Living, 2007.

3. www.forgivenessandhealth.org

For more information, contact Dinny Harter at 530-414-1420.

A Complementary Treatment for Cancer

Part One-

When I suggest emotional/spiritual healing to people with cancer, they almost always misunderstand me. They hear it as emotional support. They think I either just want to comfort them, or show them how to have a more positive attitude. They don’t get that something like forgiveness might be the key to their getting well. I see their eyes glaze over when I go on to say that emotional toxicity is most likely the cause of their cancer, and that forgiveness, if used with appropriate treatments and lifestyle changes that address the physical, is a ‘first-line’ primary treatment.

Their inability to hear this as a strategy for survival, is a measure of how brainwashed we all are into thinking that treatment for cancer must always be harsh, drastic and violent. With our War-on-Cancer mind-set, it’s hard to imagine that something so seemingly ‘soft’ and gentle as forgiveness could be the answer to our problem.

Yet science, particularly psychoneuroimmunology, is showing that forgiveness and other forms of emotional/spiritual healing, is extremely powerful, and that anyone with cancer who doesn’t include forgiveness in their treatment protocol is ignoring a huge part of the problem and, by extension, a large part of the solution.

Our fear-based approach to cancer blinds us also to the possibility of our cancer being our friend and loving messenger. Rarely does cancer arrive without a clear message designed to move us toward healing.

Almost invariably, the loving message it brings concerns releasing repressed or suppressed emotions connected with something that happened in the past — usually between two and seven years prior to the onset of the cancer. This is usually a severe loss or disappointment or a major and prolonged emotional upset, or both.

This might be loss of a spouse or child through death, loss of a relationship, loss of a job, etc. I have yet to find someone who has cancer who does not have something like this in their history – something that could easily have been the starting point – the cause even – of their disease. I am convinced that cancer starts out as an emotional/spiritual disease and only later moves into the body.

Jane came to me for hypnotherapy and counseling. She had had a mastectomy. On the second visit she arrived distressed because an MRI had revealed minute spots of cancer in her brain. The doctors were surprised because only very rarely does cancer spread directly from the breast to the brain. This seemed to me worthy of investigation from an energetic standpoint.

An attractive woman in her early forties, Jane had not been in a romantic relationship for about seven years. As we explored this, she touched into some grief she still felt about one relationship that had been extremely passionate and intense. She had clearly worshipped the man and planned to marry him. After four years, she discovered that he was married already and had children. He had no intention of leaving his wife.

Jane was devastated but could not stop seeing him. It took her another four extremely painful years to pull herself away from this relationship. Clearly, Jane had suffered a broken heart — something that most women with breast cancer have experienced — and she had shut down her emotions completely.

As she was going out the door at the end of our session, Jane said in a whisper, “I put him in the attic.” “What do you mean?” I asked. “Well, everything I had that had any connection to this man, or that would remind me of him, I stuffed in a box.” She replied. “I then put the box up in the attic. It’s still there. I haven’t touched it since.”

I told her to sit down and tell me that again. I had her repeat the same thing three times. Suddenly, she saw the connection between the box in the attic that represented her broken love affair and her brain cancer.

“Oh, my God,” she said slowly. “

That’s him in my head, isn’t it? He’s in my attic.”

I told her to go home, go up into the attic and take down the box. I told her to bring it with her to her next session, and we would go through it piece by piece. I planned for her to tell me the story around each item until she had totally disconnected from his energy and released the pain that she had repressed. Then we would do the Radical Forgiveness work to complete the healing. Jane understood that this might be the key to her getting well and was very excited. Tragically, she had a seizure the next day and was taken back to the hospital. She died a month later without ever touching the box in the attic. I believe that, even though she was excited about releasing the pain, the idea of going through the box and re-awakening to all those memories was probably more than her soul could bear, so she made a decision to make her transition.

I visited Jane a number of times during that month. I knew, from the way that she squeezed my hand, that in telling me her story, she had released a good deal of the pain. Just by agreeing to bring the box down out of the attic, she had expressed the willingness to let go of the blame and anger.

In Radical Forgiveness willingness is everything — Spirit does the rest. So, even though the disease process moved her towards death, my sense was that she had healed her life and that, as a result, she was able to slip away peacefully — more so than if she had died without ever sharing her pain.

We can only wonder whether the outcome would have been different had she been able to bring down the box and go through the Radical Forgiveness process and release all that toxic energy before the onset of her cancer — or even when it was first discovered. I personally believe that it would have.

O. Carl Simonton, M.D., the oncologist who made guided visualization a respectable mainstream treatment for cancer, said it very succinctly; “Cancer is perfect feedback.”

The only thing I would add to that is that the feedback is always loving and comes from your Higher Self.

Colin C. Tipping is Founder/Director: The Georgia Cancer Help Program
and Together-We-Heal, Inc. (a non-profit corporation). For more information, please contact Dinny Harter at (530) 414-1420

Find Part 2 on our Website: www.HBmag.com