submitted by Planned Parenthood Mar Monte |
We know that STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) rates are on the rise: one in two young people by age 25 WILL have an STI, but won’t know it because most STIs are symptomless. Another significantly growing population for HIV/AIDS is women 40+ because of cheating spouses or a return to the dating scene, long past the days of figuring out how to broach the condom conversation. STIs can happen in a first and only sexual encounter.
The Planned Parenthood Mar Monte education staff, who spend all day talking about responsible sexual behavior, offer these tips. Certainly abstinence is the only way to safeguard disease prevention. But for sexually active adults here are things to consider:
• Anyone worth having sex with is
going to want to assure both of you are protected from disease and won’t ever make you feel embarrassed or ashamed for wanting to use protection. Condom use is not about not trusting your partner but wanting to protect both of you from STIs or unplanned pregnancy.
• There is nothing wrong, dirty, or slutty about contracting an STI; it is just part of the reality and responsibility of choosing to have sex. STI’s can be as easy to catch as the flu (we do not say a person with the flu is dirty). Many can be as easy to eliminate as the flu, except the four H’s (Hepatitis, HIV, HPV and Herpes).
So how do you broach that conversation? Here are some suggestions.
• Talk to your partner about getting tested for STI’s before you start having sex; then use condoms until you get the results.
• Offer to go together with your partner to get tested, stressing how important it is to you to make sure that you both know your STI status and are protecting each other from risk.
• Get in the habit of always carrying condoms with you (especially if you are going out for the night, if alcohol may be consumed and/or there is chance you might hook up with someone).
• If your partner says condoms are too small remember that condoms stretch (seriously you can put one over your hand and stretch it all the way to your elbow).There is no such thing as a condom that is too small (not to mention almost all guys are about the same size: 5’’-7’’ when erect).
• If your partner says they can’t feel anything with a condom, use water based lubrication (“lube”) and textured condoms to increase sensation. We recommend lube use with all condoms to prevent tearing, dryness.
• Before putting the condom on put a little bit of water-based lube in the tip of the condom—the lube will heat up with your body temperature and feel wet, greatly increasing sensation for male partners.
• Remember that you can get (and also transmit) any STI in your mouth/throat and even some in your eyes, which is why it is important to use barrier methods such as condoms or dental dams for oral sex.
• Lastly make it fun—sex should be something that makes you feel good, and protecting yourself and your partner is always something to feel good about so you can make using condoms part of foreplay.
References:
- www.std-testing.org/
- www.caps.ucsf.edu/pubs/FS/over50.php
For more info, contact Planned Parenthood Mar Monte at (775) 688-5555, or (775) 829-1122 or www.ppmarmonte.org.
