Written By Coach Carl, Founder of Every Child Healthy Network |
Every teen has the potential to achieve great success; and our school systems and home lives could do better to ignite their inner resources, and to reassure them with strategies to succeed in life.
There are six qualities of successful teens. Kids who demonstrate these qualities early on will grow, develop and build inner muscles that will help them achieve great success in their future. Habits and qualities shape their destinies in life. They will carry on through adulthood what they learn about themselves today, and be more certain about who they are as it comes time to enter their future.
Here are the 6 qualities:
Heart: Teens who meet challenges with passion and an inner connection to self-win! Our goal as parents is to re-direct our kids to the heart. The heart never lies and beholds our greatest truth, which builds amazing amounts of character in our teens.
Adaptability: A teen’s ability to move through challenges and opportunities depends on their ability to remain emotionally flexible, to adjust as necessary and to maintain living their own best life. Teens who lack causative skills are more likely to live in frustration and resignation.
Trust: This is a big one! What grade were you in when you learned how to trust yourself? It’s not something that is taught, but created from within. The ability to know with absolute certainty that you can follow your gut is the most valuable of all qualities. Can you imagine where the world would be if Dr. King did not trust his gut and mission? If Gandhi did not trust his intuition?
A teen’s greatest fear is that they may fail and let their parents down. Trusting their gut is the remedy to overcome fear of failure.
Commitment: Most teens think commitment is an emotion; it’s not. It’s a never ending, daily action or series of actions required to achieve a goal, NO MATTER how they feel. When teens understand that commitment allows them to break through any challenge, fear escapes them.
Responsibility (solution oriented): How teens respond to challenges and opportunities will dictate their life and shape their future. Teens who respond negatively to challenges will live in avoidance, not action. Teens who realize they have a choice in every moment take on their lives as leaders, not followers.
Responsibility is our job as parents. It’s not about telling our kids what to do; that’s dictatorship. Responsibility is about providing choices for our teens, so they can decide how to respond to their own life.
A voice: The power of self-expression is vital to their well-being; and builds a certainty about who they are. Teens who discover how powerful their voice is, especially when the odds seem against them, are teens who will be effective in their lives as adults.
Coach Carl has been a Peak Performance Coach for more than 11 years and is the Founder of Every Child Healthy Network. For more info on Coach Carl and Fit, Wise & Amazing Kids camp, visit online at www.EveryChildHealthy.com.
Coach Carl is an amazing inspiration to all that he comes in contact with. Giving your kids a voice is the most important thing I read in this article. The thought that so many kids don’t have a voice to share their feelings and fears with their own parents is astonishing to me. “Do as I say but not as I do” is NOT parenting. Too many parents are NOT taking the time to listen to their kids. Coach Carl brings us back to being the voice for our kids when they need it and leading them to owning their own voice.
All parents want their kids to be responsibility and to me that is because parents fix their kids problems for them instead of allowing their children to figure out their own solutions and trusting that they can. I watched Coach Carl at camp with many kids and he got me to realize that when we dictate to our kids or fix their problems the message we as parents send to our kids is that “we don’t trust them and that we don’t believe in them.”
So naturally they are not going to trust and believe in themselves. I wish I would have known about this camp when my kids were still at home, it would have made their lives easier and my life as a parent more enjoyable as well.
Thank you Coach Carl. I will be back to review your next articles.
Michelle
Michelle,
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. You made me think deeper! Parenting has always struck me as an interesting mystery. I am currently in the Foster Dad program and to qualify for that you need to take 20+ hours of classes, become CPR and First Aid Certified along with drug testing. To have 3 kids of your own you are not required to KNOW or qualify for anything. Parenting is truly not something people should learn the hardway. For your sake and the child’s sake.
I have found that the most successful parents have “faith” and “trust’ in their child. To witness your child make some daily life mistakes and have the calmness and prescense of mind to “consult” them through their challenges is what parenting is truly about. It creates a more rounded child and more enjoyable experience for parents as well.
Parents need to remember that NOT all problems their children have are THEIR problems. If you are a stressed out parent you’re taking on too much responsbility and “worry” for your children. Share the responsibility and control and watch how responsible your children become. It is best to have avoid having the “perfect child” while they are still at home. That is a parents way of controlling their child so they dont have to worry about them. I honor children’s mistakes as learning and growth opportunities, I as a parent, am much more forgiving than the real world will be.
I have found that most kids want to be responsible and they are not able to because their own parents on in the way, worried their child will make mistakes.
The true voice of a child is precious and innocent. Its the most powerful state that causes us to fall in love with our children. Parents should seek to be a facilitator of that amazing voice for their children and only be their voice until they have the courage to be their own voice.
I am writing an artcile now about “What is the Perfect Parent or Child?” It is an illusion and a mediocre standard to set for yourself and your child. Perfection is not doing what one is told or not causing problems for Mom or Dad but in the expression of one’s soul.
Thank you for taking the time to blog. A special thank you to Healthy Beginnings Magazine for their great work in spreading information to the world.
Coach Carl