by Ffjorren Zolfagar |
“I wuv you mommy,” she says. Her tiny little fingers comb through my hair as she caresses my face and then whispers, “you’re so pwetty.” Years later, that same little girl runs through the front door and throws her arms around me. She says, “mom, can we have a girl chat tonight? I have so much to tell you.” Moments like these fill my heart with joy and happiness. I feel love and I feel loved.
We all experience love in some shape or form, throughout our lives. No matter what our circumstance might be, something or someone sheds their affection upon us. Whether it is our parent, sibling, friend, child or even our pet, adoration is shared. A belief in a higher power might offer a feeling of love as well. Some people find and share love through an interest like writing, singing or playing guitar. Others find love in sharing a cup of coffee with an old friend. Whatever your love looks like or feels like, it is something not easily defined. A word that modern day has twisted into many connotations.
The dictionary describes love as “a profoundly tender, passionate affection toward another person.” It is listed as a noun. It is also categorized in the verb family, “to have love or affection for.” Love then is what you do not how you feel. If you open the thesaurus, you will find a myriad of words that are synonyms of the word love, in both verb and noun form. Words like attachment, fidelity and lust. It begs the question, if love is superior and profound, how does lust fit into that category? Lust is a temporary feeling or sensation, not some sort of deeply rooted emotion.
What about the word attachment? Some religious beliefs suggest that having an attachment to a person or thing or idea is not a form of love, but rather a superficial possession because it is conditional based on a emotional need which can often become distorted. Can you love a material possession? What about infidelity? If a couple experiences marital strife and one spouse commits adultery, is that person out of love? Is falling out of love a feeling and if love is a feeling is it then the responsibility of the partner to make the other feel a certain way? When does it become of the responsibility of each of us to find our own happiness one that is not based on any external source? If they work through their differences and offer each other forgiveness, is their love restored? Is the restoration due to cultivating an unconditional love for each, one that involves acceptance and respect?
Does love only exist in a long term relationship? If you’ve been dating someone for 2 weeks and say “I love you,” is it real? What if you’ve been dating for three months, 12 months or two years? Is there a timeframe with love? Can your love for someone change over time?
How about making love, is it purely sexual or does the meaning go beyond the skin? In which case, if you’re simply having sex, is love not involved? The old cliché, “this baby was made from love,” is it referring to the feeling or action of love? Is it both? If that child was not created or born of love, can he or she provide love to others? Does the lack of love mean hatred, or not loved?
Healthy Beginnings would “love” to dig deeper into this topic matter. We will take the word and pull it apart, analyze its bits and pieces and then put it back together again in order to gain insight on the many facets of love within our world.
This article is part of a series; in future issues we will focus on the love for our family. Our first exposure to love; what is the significance? We might also incorporate real life stories into future segments. If you have a “love” story you would like to share, please e-mail it to ffjorren@hbmag.com.
