Q: I am in my early 50’s and recently divorced. I am scared to be on my own and have become intensely self-conscious. I never dreamed I would find myself in this position. I am trying to go to the gym and lose a little weight, it is so hard. Everywhere I look it seems like I am being told I am not okay unless I’m super thin and young.
A: Always remember these are the circumstances of your life right now but this is not who you are. You are a courageous person who is facing a challenge and you are not alone. Working out is good for you, not to confirm there is something wrong with you but to affirm that you are taking good care of your health. It is true, spending time in the grocery line looking at magazines reinforces the false belief that you are not okay. Any of us could stand in those lines reading and become self conscious. And in turn, those magazines sell. Knowing you are already the weight and age you are meant to be is the key. Many times, when I work with the powers of positive thought, someone will say, “well, that is a lie…I do need to lose weight, or I am in debt.”
Terry Cole-Whittaker in Dare to Be Great writes “You are not lying, just accepting the ideal of what is possible and the fundamental truth about you….It does not work to keep thinking of your body as overweight…. Believing yourself to have a slender body will cause you to behave as a slender person….This ends the mystery of how to get where you want to be: be there first.” Remember the mind does not see what is on the outside. You tell it what to believe and the possibilities are infinite.
July is about long days, barbecues, water fun and of course the holiday; celebrating our Independence. You have found yourself recently independent. When you start feeling insecure, celebrate your own freedom and what you can do with it. And when you are in the line at the grocery store, instead of perusing the magazines and their article titles look at what is in your cart. These are the items that demonstrate how you are taking care of yourself. It is amazing how easy it is, it will transform your life. Enjoy these long days being present, being conscious. It opens many doors. I think you already know this; your inner wisdom has guided you in this direction—keep going. Many blessings.
For more info, contact Dana Andersen, MFT specializing in personal and spiritual growth counseling at (775) 323-4242.