I know, I know. It is February, the month of love and Valentine’s Day. So, why am I writing about the right time to end a relationship?

This is the perfect time to clarify what you want in your relationship. Valentine’s Day can offer you an opportunity to pause and reflect more deeply on your life. Either affirm your intention to enjoy and celebrate your relationship, or get straight with yourself and your partner that your relationship is not working, and it is time to end it.

Maybe you simply aren’t sure one way or the other. So, how do you know which way to go? Love has us experience an intense physical attraction, changes in our brain chemistry, and a profound psychological state of longing for the other person. In our ancestral past, love served to ensure that we would mate, conceive, and stay together in a harsh environment long enough to care for our weak and dependent offspring. So are our relationships and experience of love today only dictated by this ancient chemistry?

Artists, psychologists, writers, philosophers, and the rest of humanity, have been trying to define love for as long as we have felt it. We know that we can have familial love, platonic love, religious love, and we can create love–love for our country, our career, our community, and others. Greeks managed to define “what is love” into four types: agape: unconditional love; eros: passionate love; philia: love and loyalty for your friends, family and community; and storge: natural affection for your family.

So what are we talking about when we talk about “falling in love”?

Most popular songs croon about it, half of our books and films obsess over it, and everybody wants it. Most of us have had the experience that on one hand, falling in love can lift us up; on the other, it can destroy us.

Psychologists describe this kind of falling in love as having three components: desire, passion, and intimacy.  In order to move from “falling in love” into a thriving, successful relationship I assert there are two more elements needed commitment and compatibility.  Commitment is deciding, dedicating, applying, devoting and promising to create a thriving successful relationship. Compatibility means having affinity, closeness, harmony, rapport, and empathy for the other person. The long term success of experiencing love in your relationship will be in direct proportion to being committed to, and compatible with, the person that you have fallen in love with.

This brings us back to the question, “When is it time to end a relationship?” First and foremost, your relationship should add to the quality of your life. If you are ambivalent about your relationship, it means your relationship is sick. How sick is it?

I highly recommend that couples ask themselves these questions:

1. Are you fighting most of the time? Do you feel continuously frustrated about your relationship? (This is not about whose fault it is–are you unhappy more than you are happy in this relationship?)
2. Do you have goals that are incompatible? If there is no resolution to your incompatible goals then it will be impossible for you to have a fulfilling relationship no matter how much you love them. Example: If you want children and your partner doesn’t, your relationship is headed for trouble.
3. Are you being abused mentally (your partner is constantly telling you that you are a failure, no good, belittling you, etc.); emotionally (is your partner routinely cold or angry, yelling, calling you names, not respecting you or your boundaries, etc.); or physically (does your partner threaten violence, strike you, throw things, etc.).  If you answer yes to any part of this question, I highly recommend that you end this relationship. Being in an abusive relationship will cost you your self-worth, and could possibly cost you your life.
4. Are you finding more reasons to spend time apart, and more pleasure being apart than together?
5. Are you changing your core values, beliefs and goals to accommodate your partner, or to please them? Are you living in hope that your relationship will stop being problematic?
6. Are you constantly changing your appearance to please your partner–hoping they will approve of you, or find you attractive?
7. Can you communicate without bickering, arguing or fighting? Is there respect and listening in your relationship?
8. Do you have fun and mutual dreams for the future with your partner?
9. Are you habitually chasing after your partner with no reciprocity? Do you have a growing feeling of emptiness about your life?

When you ask yourself these questions, you can see if your relationship is enhancing your life, or draining it. At the very least, you should be happier in your relationship than outside of it.

A sick relationship can be worked on and transformed. However, both partners need to be willing to commit to work on it and put in the effort. If one partner in the relationship does not admit or recognize the problem that the other partner has brought up, finding a solution will be nearly impossible. It is essential to any healthy relationship that each person in the relationship be able to see and understand their partner’s point of view or side of the argument. This willingness and ability will allow for greater affinity, love, and understanding in the relationship.

Often, when someone has strong feelings of love for their partner they think it is better to ignore the problems in the relationship. Usually the problems get worse. Eventually the problems will have to be dealt with, or the people in the relationship will be miserable. Don’t wait for the problems in your relationship to get severe enough to show you that the relationship is over–that is the hard way to do it. You can love someone and not have it be in your best interest to stay in the relationship. Is your relationship enhancing your life?

One last thought: Don’t let yourself be confused about whether or not you should leave your current relationship, with whether or not you might find a new relationship. If it’s clear that your current relationship should end, as painful as it might be, have the courage to end it–endings always offer up new beginnings.

“Relationships – of all kinds – are like sand held in your hand.
Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is.
The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers.
You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled.
A relationship is like that.
Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact.
But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”  Kilem Hasmate

References:

1. Richo, David. How to Be an Adult in Relationships: the Five Keys to Mindful Loving. Shambhala. 2002.

2. Kirshenbaum, Mira. Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay. Plume. 1997.

Written By Rev. Jack R. Ellitott,

Author and Spiritual Life Coach |

Dear Rev. Jack, “I am paralyzed with fear. I have nightmares every night. Do you have any insight for me?” – Linda, from Sacramento.

My dear Linda,

First let me redefine fear for you. I believe fear is nothing more than an anagram. My friend and mentor, Terry Cole Whittaker taught me that fear is truly an anagram for “false expectation appearing real.” Your question about fear and your nightmares reminded me of a story she’d tell to illustrate what she had been taught as little girl. The story goes something like this:

“There was a little boy who night after night had the same dream of a vicious monster creeping into his bedroom. The monster would fly up from the end of the bed belting out a horrendous screech as fire spewed from his mouth.

The little boy would scream with terror and run from his bed down the stairs and throughout the house as the monster chased him. The dream was so horrifying; but before the monster ever caught the boy, he would awaken and then tremble the whole night–fearing the dream would come again.

One night, the monster came again. This time, the monster seemed more vicious and threatening. As the boy ran from his room, the monster got closer and closer. The boy ran down the stairs and back up again with the monster’s hot fiery breath at his back. As he reached the top of the stairs, the door to his room was locked. Not knowing what to do he turned toward the monster and screamed, “What will you do to me?”

The monster paused and looked at the boy and said, “It’s your dream kid. I can only do to you, what you believe I can do to you.”

The boy realized that night that he has the power over any demon, monster or fear he could imagine. He never had that dream again because he understood that fear is merely a false expectation appearing to be real.

What we fear often isn’t based on any factual data, but none the less, the fear often renders us paralyzed. Many times we hear actors tell us that “stage fright,” or the fear of performing, kept them from sharing their talent with the world. But then something happened, and they faced their fear, took a risk and realized that what they have feared would happen, never happened.

A client of mine was in financial crisis and about to lose her home. She was falling behind on her mortgage payments and horrified that the woman who held the mortgage on her home would kick her out. Each time her phone rang, her stomach turned. And if the mortgage holder called, she’d toss the phone under a pillow; she was horrified to hear what the mortgage holder would say. She would even delete the voice mail message without ever listening to it.

Finally, she realized that fear was driving her life. While she didn’t have the courage to call her mortgage holder, she did have the courage to write her a letter, acknowledging her financial situation and asking for the mortgage holder’s understanding.

A few days later, her phone rang; she didn’t recognize the number so she took the call. It was her mortgage holder. “Honey, I so understand; everyone is in crisis these days. I’ll tell you what, for the next year, could you pay half of your mortgage payment? Could you do that, sweetie?” My client was so shaken by the mortgage holder’s kindness she could barely get out a meek little “yes.”

Now my client can afford to stay in her home. But more importantly, she realized that had she faced her fears, and called the mortgage holder sooner, she would not have agonized for three months over something that wasn’t real to begin with. The monster in her dream was of her own creation.

Eleanor Roosevelt is credited with saying “Do one thing a day that scares you.” Linda, I believe if you look your monsters (fears) in the face, instead of giving into them, you will be able to say, “If I can face this, then I can take anything that comes along.” By doing so, you take your power back and no longer project it on to your imagined demons and monsters. – Rev. Jack

Rev. Jack Elliott is a Spiritual Life Coach. You may reach him at revjack@revjackrelliott.org.

Reviewed for Healthy Beginnings Magazine By June Milligan, M.Ed., CCHt |

Paul Harrington is the producer of the phenomenally successful movie “The Secret.” The movie went viral and became a worldwide sensation, with no advertising except word of mouth. Paul’s daughter then asked her dad to do something for teens, to be written in their language and to present examples of teen successes they could relate to. This book is the result.

After the movie became such a success, and messages from people all over the world who were using the Law of Attraction began to pour into the website, the author began collecting letters from teenagers. A big part of this book is personal success stories from students age thirteen through nineteen.  The power of your thoughts, attitudes, beliefs and expectations attract to you the people, conditions and situations that you are experiencing. As a teenager you may think you don’t have much control over your life, and it is true that you’re still dependent upon your folks for shelter, most of your food and even most of your physical freedom. But within those parameters, you make most of your own choices.  And you have the freedom to think what you choose 24/7.

Some chapters in this book include What’s the Big Secret, The Secret Made Simple, How to Use the Secret, Powerful Processes, The Secret to Money and the Secret to Relationships. Each chapter gives down-to-earth processes, examples and quotes regarding these subjects. In fact, the processes in this book are much simpler and easier to understand than the ones in Rhonda Byrne’s book, The Secret. I feel that if adults read this book first, it would serve as an excellent introduction to the Law of Attraction.

For instance, in the chapter How to Use the Secret, the author explains that when you ask for what you want, you’re basically placing an order. Then it’s important to believe that it’s coming your way. How do you make yourself believe? By acting as if you already have whatever it is you want. A belief is just a thought repeated over and over, so pretend your desires are already here. The more you do this, the more you really believe it. Now you’re ready to receive it. And when you feel the way you would feel when you finally do get whatever it is you want: that is the key. The desire is the engine but the emotion, the feeling is the fuel. So, you ask and believe through your thoughts, but you receive through your actions. When you get the impulse to act, you’ll take inspired action, and that makes all the difference. Martin Luther King said, “Take the first step in faith.  You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.”

The author explains that so many people live for tomorrow instead of today. It’s as if life begins when you get your driver’s license, or when you graduate or move away from your parents. It is all when, when, when…but that’s not living today. A huge part of the secret is that all of your power is concentrated today, in this moment, this very instant, right now. What you think about the most, or focus on the most right now, will turn up as your life in the future. It’s like “payback from not so way back.” In other words, you can’t be angry and frustrated today and expect things to improve tomorrow. Focus on today, feel good now, and be clear about what you want for the future, because that’s the only way your dreams of tomorrow come true.

Paul Harrington says, “Teens around the world need to understand the power they have over their own destiny so they can go confidently out into the world and create a life that’s nothing short of a masterpiece!” This book is an excellent first step to realizing your dreams.

Written By Rev. Jack R. Elliott, Author and Spiritual Life Coach |

There comes a time in each of our lives when we evolve more fully into the being we are “called” to be. I call this the age of our Spiritual Maturity. It is the season of our life for teaching and for our most essential learning. This maturity does not happen at any given chronological age–but often comes in what Carl Jung would call the “autumn” of our life.

For me, I’ve come to understand in the autumn of my life, that I am called to teach that which I have experienced, rather than that which I’ve merely, or intellectually, understood. While, I can read and understand concepts and principals, it is not until I internalize those concepts and principals (see them as a manifestation or lessons received) will they become fully integrated into my psyche–my being. Once that has happened, Spirit always finds an opportunity for me to turn around and to share the revelation (teach) with someone else. Such a lesson is the lesson of “detachment,” which can only be understood when one is Spiritually Mature.

You might ask: “What is detachment, and how do I know if I’m spiritually mature or even in the autumn of my life?”

It is in the autumn of your life when you can see yourself as detached from “the other.” This “other” may be your biological parents, spouse, job, athletic skill, or anything outside of ourselves that we have used as a label to describe who we say we are. For example, one might say “I am a computer technical,” or “I am an Oscar winning actress,” or “I’m John and Mary’s son.” It is only when you detach from “the other” and become “Individualized” can you truly reflect your higher self, know who you are or accept your Spiritual calling.

When “detachment” occurs, the Divine (Spirit, God) will be expressed as real, present and profound to you. Rather than being “attached to,” you come to understand that you are “one with” the other people in your life. Detachment doesn’t mean others won’t be in your life, it means you will feel loved and nurtured on an immediate and intimate heart level, without “needing” them in your life. Remember this: No one has been called (brought) into your life to define you or to complete you, nor have you been called into their life to define or to complete them. Once you are “detached,” you are free to divinely “be in the flow” with the others in your life. When this is obtained, then you have obtained Spiritual and Psychological maturity. To be in the flow is to be one with Spirit.

Are you wondering what Spirit has called you to teach? You have been called to teach all the good that has been “revealed” to you. You are called to share those “ah-hah” moments that inspired you, made an impression on your psyche, or changed your direction or perception of life. Start with the moments that changed your life for the better.

“But Rev. Jack, Who am I to teach?”

Don’t worry about this. Once you know what it is that you’ve been called to teach, Spirit will reveal the student.

I love questions. If you have questions about how Spirit (God) has influenced or not influenced your life, ask and we’ll discuss your questions in future columns. Write me at elliott209@live.com.

By Mel Robbins

Reviewed for Healthy Beginnings by June Milligan, M.Ed., CCHt |

One of the most powerful quotes in this book is, “You need to recognize that the risk of moving toward your dreams is much lower than the slow, everyday punishment you inflict on yourself by suppressing them.”

We know that right now more than 100 million Americans secretly feel frustrated and bored with their lives. Many regard themselves as their own worst enemy, or have developed a cluttered, mostly unvarying daily routine that seems endless. Or maybe you and your significant other treat each other like roommates. You may constantly daydream and wonder, “Is this all there is?” Or maybe you worry that no matter what you do to stay in shape, the battle is already lost, and maybe you have a tendency when asked how you’re doing to just say, “Fine.” You may want to be positive, and not drag yourself and your friend down with a sad story, but one of the things we do when we continue to say, “Fine,” is that on some level, we begin to believe it.  In doing so we suppress that small voice inside that says, “Do something to change this situation. Take action now.  Stop feeling unfulfilled!”

As humans, we’re biologically conditioned to avoid change. Because of the fear of stepping out and doing something different, many of us live unfulfilled lives, missing out on many wonderful things. We miss an enormous number of opportunities to change our lives because most of us are not focused on what we want. Instead, we’re focused on what we don’t want (our problems) and on maintaining the illusion that we’re fine. Until we face the truth and start focusing on opportunities to take action, we’ll continue to miss the chances for change that are right in front of us. Just admitting that things are not “fine” gives you something to push toward. And when you become focused on what you want, your brain gives its full energy to achieving that goal.

Your brain needs a specific job, which will help you focus on solving your problems instead of being overwhelmed by them. The more you can crystallize and clearly imagine what you desire, the better the chance that your mind can help you get it. Desire keeps your momentum high and helps you stay focused so you can get unstuck. But desire isn’t enough. You have to visualize what you want with emotion and you have to take action.

In certain human potential studies, the term “process simulation” is used instead of the word visualization. It’s the same thing. And the more detailed the image of you doing exactly what you want to do, seeing the whole scene from your own eyes, the more effective it is. Using the power of emotion while visualizing is critical, for it somehow reduces resistance and accelerates results.

Maybe you’re scared of what other people will think of your goal, but instead of finding the courage to shrug off the judgments of others, you tell yourself that their opinions are more important than yours, or that they know more than you do about your own life. Maybe you simply give in to fear, and delay doing anything about your dreams. Maybe there are logical reasons why you can’t get what you want right away, so you give up for good. You tell yourself things are “just the way they are” and that you can’t do anything to change them. You hear this kind of storytelling everywhere you go. It’s called “obstacle thinking” and a good sign that you’ve fallen victim to it is that you stop seeing temporary barriers as problems to be solved, and instead see them as never-to-be-changed facts of life. Therefore you stay stuck and you let your hopes and dreams go by.

The author discusses seven major areas of life: family, love and sex, spirituality, career/purpose, friends/community, body/health and money. She gives you questions to ask yourself about each one of them; questions that will help you clearly understand where you are in each area, and to realize what you really want. She pulls no punches and expects you to be honest with yourself about your current life and how it’s different from what you want to experience. Then she shows how you can use certain techniques plus a personal “roadmap” to move toward what you want.

Mel Robbins is a working mother of three, a former trial lawyer, CNBC contributor, and one of the top career and relationship experts in America. She writes a column for SUCCESS Magazine, and gives advice to men and women across America on her daily syndicated radio show, The Mel Robbins Show.

“Turning a new leaf,” most of us know of, or have used this cliché. In its simplest form, it means “change.” With the first month of 2012 upon us, it seemed fitting that our cover displayed something that tied into all of our lives.

Not the kind of change that involves taking out a piece of paper and writing out a set of New Year’s Resolutions…and not the kind of change that requires you to buy a thousand self-help books…and not even the kind of change that doom and gloomer’s are saying will come this December.

Even if some of that might relate to your life in some way, our cover is directly speaking to you. YOU are the change. Every year passes, and with it comes a new wrinkle, gray hair, new house, scar, baby, marriage, divorce, business, graduation, etc. Even if you were not trying to change, you did.

RE-ENERGIZE yourself this year with natural scents in FRESH, LUSH perfumes, bath salts, & moisturizing oils. Reno’s new natural product apothecary and massage supply store. We carry all the basics for therapists and spas along with pure bulk ingredients for cosmetic crafting, vibrant essential and exotic oils, and introducing the generously endowed with therapeutic aromas, Temple of Life spa products to be enjoyed by everyone. Come sit at our Aroma Bar, smell yummy oil blends, and create fresh, customized gifts for pampering yourself or others. We provide an experienced staff and a peaceful place with ambiance to get inspired.

NEW LENDING LIBRARY POLICY: STARTING JANUARY 2012 PLEASE HELP! - For five years now, we resisted applying fines for overdue items, but we have lost close to $5K in books, DVDs, and CDs from our lending library! We have many items that have been overdue for months, even years. Therefore, we updated our library policy to include a three day grace period for overdue items, and on the 4th day, a fine of $.25 per item/per day will be applied. Please return/renew all overdue items before January 1st, 2012. Thanks! For more info, call 530-550-8981 or email info@goodnesssake.org.

BLOSSOM INSTITUTE

Are you struggling towards your future or powerfully guiding yourself? Are you ready for a profound life transformation? New groundbreaking program offers an in-depth and comprehensive template towards self-mastery as you become a certified Holistic Health Practitioner. Free introductions to Holistic Health Degree Program Dec 29th & Jan 5th  6:30 – 8pm, Blossom Institute.

BEGINNING JANUARY 1, 2012, ALPENGLOW SPORTS CHALLENGES THE TAHOE BACKCOUNTRY COMMUNITY TO A CUMULATIVE GOAL OF 15 MILLION VERTICAL FEET OF UPHILL TRAVEL. This is the region’s first ever free, community–wide fundraising initiative, benefitting the Sierra Avalanche Center. The ultimate payoff: $3,000 donation to the Sierra Avalanche Center, given by Alpenglow Sports.

The event continues to April 30, 2012, and data will be recorded at www.tahoevertical.com. Podium prizes will be awarded for the top three men and women, and best camera edit pertaining to the event. Any skier/rider who registers data is also eligible for a bimonthly raffle! For more info, go to www.alpenglowsports.com.

Can children benefit from the use of feng shui? Yes, because children especially respond to the energy of their environment.

The location of bedrooms within the home can influence a child’s personality and behavior, and can influence defiance and misbehavior. Furniture placement within the bedroom can influence energy level or weight gain. A messy room, with piles of toys and clothes, will increase these influences.

Bedrooms are important because this is where children spend the most time. Avoid clutter by storing things in furniture and closets. Light to medium paint colors are best, while bright colors should be avoided as they can increase hyperactivity in children.

Beds should be placed with headboards against the wall with open space around the other three sides and nothing stored underneath. It is best to avoid bunk beds and canopies.

The best use of feng shui for children is to help them become better students. There are many methods to take advantage of these energies–location, direction, furniture placement, annual energies and more.

On November 12th and 13th, the Granlibakken Conference Center and Lodge in Tahoe City hosted the annual Lake Tahoe’s Women’s Wellness Weekend, “an event fusing Eastern tradition with Western practices to offer you balance, rejuvenation and well-being.” There were over 130 registrants, and more than 20 health-focused businesses involved in the event.

Healthy Beginnings Magazine was invited to join the event as well. We were able to attend as participants, enjoying the conference from a “healthy woman” perspective, as opposed to just having our magazine blinders on.

The conference began on Saturday, November 12th, however we arrived the evening before. We were able to settle into our accommodations and get ready for the coming weekend; which, began on an early note. Attendees could choose to join a morning session of yoga, or a friendly 5k fun-run, both at 7:15 am. Exercise is a wonderful way to get your body going, and the mental juices flowing.

Our breakfast provided a well-balanced array of hot and cold items, including slow-cooked oatmeal, omelets, muffins, fruit, yogurt, cereal, bread, bagels and more. The tables filled up, but the food and coffee were constantly replenished.

After breakfast, the first speaker was scheduled to begin at 8:45 am. Dr. Amy Vail, Psy. D, spoke about a “mindful life.” She asked us to think about how we are not true to ourselves; and to find the things that distract us in our daily lives. These are elements of destruction, in regards to our personal foundation.

She went on to discuss how you can find power within yourself by taking responsibility for your life, 100 percent of the time. Let go of the past and stop blaming. Moving forward, ask “what” questions, in order to find answers, instead of using “why” questions, which typically produce defensive excuses.

“Love begins with really showing up and being present,” Dr. Vail said. She believes that if we all “turn up the light” within ourselves, we can change the world, as “one candle can light up other candles, without dimming its own light.”

Dr. Vail was enthusiastic, funny and kept us engaged. It was a great starting point for the conference, as she helped create excitement and energy among the audience. From that point forward, the conference continued to impress me. There were speakers each hour, all covering topics concerning their ex- pertise.

Oncologist Ahrin Koppel spoke about prevention and the ad- vancement of breast health. Naturopath Stephanie Riley spoke on supporting your immune system, highlighting the importance of G.I. tract health. From there, attendees were able to choose a class, including astrology and health, Zumba and Ki Gong.

Again, the lunch Granlibakken provided was well-rounded and nourishing. As we ate, we received a presentation from Jill Whisler, a registered dietician. She covered weight topics, and using nutrition to heal, as well as nourish the body. She challenged us to look at how we are eating, and why we eat the way we do. It’s truly astonishing to think that most of us do not even ingest one “whole” food a day, meaning an apple or carrots, something that is not processed.

After lunch, Carolyn Willette, RN, discussed heart disease, the number one killer among women. We heard from Naturopath Christina Campbell, ND, as she talked about empowering

healthy aging, throughout the decades. She provided a list of potential supplements to aid in nourishing a woman’s aging body.

Last, but not least, Dinny Evans spoke on finding a spiritual path to physical well-being. She demonstrated her point through a worksheet she provided on “Radical Forgiveness.” It is the idea that nothing happens “to” you, but rather “for” you. It’s letting go of fear, and changing your mindset. If you can forgive, you will not forget, but rather empower yourself with the knowledge you gain from this process. At that point, the negative cycles end and your life can move in a happier and healthier direc- tion. It was the perfect ending to our day. It was uplifting and spiritually moving.

Some of us made our way to the social event, where we noshed on cheese, crackers and fruit, and drank our antioxidant-filled red wine. We were also able to meet with vendors, along with some of the speakers from the day. The Ki Gong instructor, Dr. Tim Schroeder, DC, offered his children’s book, “The Legend of Eagle Rock,” an inspirational book for all. My children now have a copy.

It was off to bed at a reasonable time, as the next day began in the same fashion. Pilates, if you chose to attend, breakfast and then the first speaker of the day: Robert Ayers, Financial Consultant and Astrologer. He spoke on financially surviving in the tough economic times we are currently facing, and will face for years to come.

The topic seemed heavy at 9 am, but I was on the edge of my seat during his entire talk. He did not have fancy, digi- tized accompaniments during his presentation, however it was not needed. The content was powerful and easily driven

home with his silver-tongued speech. One of his main points, “preservation of capital,” made perfect sense. We, individually and collectively, need to get back to the basics, and preserve what we already have. We need to look at life from a creative perspective and reposition ourselves, aligning with our true purpose in life.

After Mr. Ayers, we listened to Dr. Gregory Tirdel, MD, a local sleep specialist. He was funny and captivating, and talked about the many facets of insomnia. “It’s not about the pill,” Dr. Tirdel stated many times. I found hope in his statement, as not all western-educated medical doctors use the same mantra.

From there, we heard from Carla McClure, L.Ac, on the cycle systems within our bodies, from a Traditional Chinese Medical perspective. It was interesting and informative; she provided an abundance of references. The last speaker of the day, and of the conference, was Dr. Lily Kuehne, DC. She spoke on Vitality, and how to achieve it.

Our day ended with a health fair, filled with information, prod- ucts and fitness classes. I had a quick session of acupuncture and spoke to several speakers from our conference. Although I was thoroughly impressed with the quality of the conference, and where it was held, I was ready to bring my weekend to an end. Even though my body relaxed, my brain needed to download, and then rest.

I am so grateful to have attended this event. It was well worth the drive, time and effort needed to plan this trip. Although I am well-versed in the healthy lifestyle niche, I gained knowledge and good connections through this event. It is definitely on my to-do list for next year!

Women’s Wellness Weekend at Granlibakken

Nestled into the hillside above Tahoe City, and bursting with European charm, the scenic 74-acre Granlibakken Conference Center & Lodge (http://www.granlibakken.com) offers a unique venue with all the amenities of larger resorts.

As part of Granlibakken’s commitment to health & wellness, the annual Lake Tahoe Women’s Wellness Weekend–a long standing community event in Tahoe City–will now be hosted by Granlibakken, November 12-13, 2011 (http://www.granlibakken.com/wellness.php). The event fuses Eastern tradition with Western practices to offer a balanced weekend of information, inspiration, activities, food and wine.

Hosting events is Granlibakken’s forte. The schedule for the Women’s Wellness Weekend starts with optional exercise activities including a 5k fun run or a one mile nature walk through the perimeter of Granlibakken’s hillside forest. Breakfast is followed by an opening “jump-start” talk by respected Psychologist Amy Vail. Seminars on Saturday include breast health, environmental health, nutrition, healthy aging and empowering exercise activities (optional).  Choose between Ki Gong, a form of gentle exercise using breathing, posture and meditation:  Restorative Yoga, or a special class ref: Astrology/Health. Lunch is provided and flows into further talks throughout the afternoon. Saturday evening finishes with wine and shopping. Go for a new experience and have your astrological chart read by Robert Ayres (additional charge).

Festivities on Sunday include optional exercise classes of Cross-fit, Pilates and yoga with discussion classes and a health fair. Enjoy breakfast, followed by classes on finances for your future, acupuncture, chiropractic and skin care. The afternoon includes an interactive health fair including gait analysis, makeup artists, body fat testing, skin screenings, mani and pedi stations and much more. Blood lab readings are available and must be signed up for in advance (additional charge). For the adventurous women, attend the Zumba Party Sunday afternoon!

Registration is only $99.00. To register, please visit Granlibakken’s homepage and click “make a reservation.” Click “conference” and use the information: “www” as your login and password.

Grab a girlfriend and stay for $138.50/person double occupancy per person per night (rate includes conference fee).

It was only natural for Granlibakken to bring the Women’s Wellness Weekend to its Resort. As an event center, you’ll find unequaled personal service, latest technology, multi-function meeting space, a full service kitchen, an on-site day spa and seasonal activities.

Make the Women’s Wellness Weekend a retreat and visit the holistic Lighthouse Day Spa (http://lighthousespa.com/granlibakken/granlibakken.php) on property. Try any one of their relaxing body treatments or wellness packages–Blissful Retreat, a 60 minute sinus and head clarifying hot stone massage; Tahoe Sampler, a 30 minute massage, facial and body wrap; Renewal, a 60 minute massage, facial, manicure and pedicure. Holistic packages include Ayurveda health consultations designed to create inner balance by providing insights into diet, herbs, aromatherapy, meditation and breathing techniques.

Along with the day spa, Granlibakken has been the anticipated choice for groups seeking affordable events and unique venues for four to 400 people. The resort boasts a multi-functional retreat center. In particular, medical organization and technology companies have utilized Granlibakken to come up with their next big idea. On-site recreation includes hiking and biking trails, tennis courts, heated outdoor pool and Jacuzzi, and a ropes course for teambuilding, seasonal ski lift and sled hill. The convenient location near Tahoe City offers a plethora of shopping, dining and recreation.

Enjoy Lake Tahoe style and book your spot for the Women’s Wellness Weekend!

For more info, contact Granlibakken Conference Center & Lodge at (530) 581-7307 or (800) 543-3221.

As families congregate to feast in celebration, while giving thanks for what they hold dear, the table becomes a focal point of the gathering. Not just the food, but the table dressing itself. Our cover story focuses on the use of cranberries, leaves and vine as décor, which gives any holiday table a natural appeal.

There are many ways to incorporate natural chic into your table’s attire: use small pumpkins, apples or leaves as name cards–write your guest’s name with a metallic pen for an elegant touch. Use some of your house plants as centerpieces–add a few “fall” embellishments to set the theme. Tie each set of silverware with twine–add a sprig of sage, lavender or a cinnamon stick for an aromatic experience. Glass bowls or vases of berries–blueberries, blackberries, raspberries and cranberries–add an intense color to your table.

Are there other factors besides lifestyle that can influence weight gain? Yes. The energy of a home can influence weight gain based on the shape of the house, the location of the kitchen, and the wall colors and amount of clutter in certain sectors. Furniture placement within the home and the bedroom can also influence one’s weight.

When a person struggles with weight issues, they may be attracted to the energy of a house in which the outside form and shape of the house supports weight gain, making it difficult to lose weight. Their choice of furniture arrangement inside their house can have a similar result. With the use of Feng Shui, furniture placement can be changed to encourage weight loss.

Another factor to consider is one’s Ba Zi chart. Ba Zi, also known as Four Pillars, is a method of Chinese astrology that explains one’s personality traits and decision making process. It is a personal blueprint and can identify if someone has a tendency towards weight gain, where the weight is most likely to be gained, and how the seasons might influence both. With the knowledge gained from a Ba Zi reading, one can learn the foods to avoid and the time of day to exercise to help achieve weight loss.

For more info, contact Rebecca Moore at Feng Shui Classical Consulting at (775) 830-8168.

Women’s Wellness Weekend at Granlibakken

The annual Lake Tahoe Women’s Wellness Weekend will be hosted by Granlibakken at the Granlibakken Conference Center & Lodge in Tahoe City, November 12-13. The event fuses Eastern tradition with Western practices to offer a balanced weekend of information, inspiration, activities, food & wine. Registration is only $99. For information, call (530) 583-4242 or call 1 (800) 543-3221 to register

Nutritional Zeal for Life

Zeal for Life is an All-In-One natural nutritional drink.  A synergistic blend of whole food concentrates providing an excellent source of nutrients, antioxidants and vitamins.  Zeal targets the 7 major health challenges: Heart Disease, Cancer, Diabetes, Weight Gain, Body Discomfort, Low Energy and Poor Immune System.  Contact John for a Free issue of “The Doctor’s Report” (775) 232-6767

Message from the Humane Society of Truckee-Tahoe
Many people have been forced to give up their pets due to the slowing economy.  The Humane Society of Truckee-Tahoe wants to help ensure people can keep their animals and that all pets are healthy and well fed. If it is financially difficult for you, or someone you know, to feed their pet the Humane Society of Truckee-Tahoe can assist with your pet’s nutritional needs. Give them a call at (530) 587-5948 or (530) 581-3199 to learn how to obtain free pet food.

REIKI AND CHRONIC PAIN

Many clients comment that Reiki does reduce or remove the intensity of pain.  Reiki also balances your body energies, induces relaxation, reduces stress, removes energy blockages, and aids in detoxifying the body.  An ancient Japanese method.  A spiritually guided life force energy that promotes healing. Betty Franklin, Reiki Master, Deeksha/Oneness Blessing Giver, Ear Candling, Tarot & Angel Card readings. Carson Valley, Reno, Lake Tahoe Regions (775) 790-0767

THANKSGIVING DAY DINNER AND WINTER COAT GIVEAWAY

Every Thanksgiving Day, the Reno-Sparks Gospel Mission serves a traditional Thanksgiving dinner downtown and at several senior citizen centers to as many as 1,200 needy men, women and children. We also have several thousand winter coats and supplies on hand to give away to all in need. There are limited opportunities for this event, but we need servers and general use volunteers. If you’d like to help out, please call Tammie at (775) 323-0386, Ext. 16.

CHRISTMAS DAY DINNERS
The Reno-Sparks Gospel Mission’s largest event of the year our annual Christmas Day meal and present giveaway, held at our downtown Mission and at several local senior citizen centers. The Mission appreciate your donations of new socks, gloves, mittens, scarves, knit caps or other warm clothing, plus appropriate toys for the children (all ages needed). We need food servers, gift wrappers, entertainment and general-use volunteers. For more details, please call Tammie at (775) 323-0386, Ext. 16.

An 11 year-old boy was given the homework assignment of writing a letter to his future self. He wrote: “I’m 5 feet two inches 91 pounds. Good athlet [sic]. I think in 7 years I will be between 6 ft to 6ft 4 inches 140 pounds. I hope to go to a good college in football. Then go to the pros and play on the niners or the packers even if they aren’t good in seven years. My friends are Jason, Kyle, Leo, Spencer, Mark and Jacob.” This student, Colin Kaepernick, achieved his dream in remarkable fashion. Seven years after writing his vision he became the starting quarterback for the University of Nevada, Reno football team. Four years later, after a stellar college career, he was drafted by the San Francisco Forty-Niners.

At age 11, Colin knew that he wanted to play football for the San Francisco Forty-Niners. Eleven years later he was doing just that. One interpretation of this story would be that Colin was the master of his destiny. He developed and achieved a goal through his own hard work and determination. This is an attractive perspective. It reinforces the idea that we are in charge of our lives; we can choose who we become. There is a problem with this viewpoint, however. There were probably hundreds of boys Colin’s age pursuing the same dream. Several of them may have had similar athletic potential and worked just as hard as Colin. Yet, only he achieved the dream.

A more realistic interpretation of the story is that Colin’s vision carried the imprint of his destiny. Etched upon his soul was a calling that would require his effort and commitment to be fulfilled. It is not so much that Colin created his destiny as it is he assisted in its unfolding. You can make the sacrifices and do the work, but these things are only one part of the equation of your life. The crucial factor, and the one that you cannot control, is your calling, your destiny.

From sports and business psychology to New Age philosophy, much is made of the power of your beliefs and visions to mould and create your future. This perspective is a pipedream of the ego. Success in life does not flow from the strength and stubbornness of your consciously held beliefs and visions. Success occurs when your beliefs and visions are aligned with your true nature and inherent destiny.

Although you don’t get to choose your destiny, you are given the freedom to embrace and honor it. This may seem disappointing to you, but it is actually a priceless gift. If you could choose your destiny, your life would be little more than an extended ego trip. But when your destiny comes from somewhere beyond you, embracing it becomes an act of love, and life itself becomes an amazing journey of self-discovery.

For more info, contact Dr. Andy Drymalski, Reno and Carson City psychologist at (775) 786-3818, or visit online at www.renocarsonpsychologist.com

Shopping organic on a budget isn’t always easy. It takes time to familiarize yourself with certain organic products, and the places you can find them locally. Here are some tips on how to get started:

-Don’t limit yourself to popular natural foods stores and organic pantries. Shop around and figure out where you’re comfortable spending your hard earned money. Conventional grocery stores often have relatively cheap and expansive selections of organics.

-Plan your meals and don’t over-shop. According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, the U.S. generates more than 34 million tons of food waste each year. Generating food waste has significant economic and environmental consequences, so make a list of ingredients you’ll need and try to avoid impulse buys. Websites like www.lovefoodhatewaste.com can even help you calculate proper portions.

-Save food, save money! Store your food so that it stays fresh, and learn recipes for leftover meals.

-Shop seasonally. Learn which fruits and vegetables are harvested during certain times of the year. In the fall, think root vegetables: potatoes, carrots, zucchinis, squash and corn. If strawberries are out of season, opt for frozen strawberries. If tomatoes are out of season, go with canned.

-Make connections with a local farmer and become involved. For a nominal fee toward a membership/part ownership, food Co-ops offer organics and other natural products, direct from local growers, at discount prices. There are many other programs you can get involved in and become familiar with Community Supported Agriculture (CSA). Check online for sites that list your local farmers and CSA programs: www.nevadagrown.com

-Buy organic if it doesn’t have a peel. Many fruits and vegetables are full of pesticides and other dangerous chemicals, even after they are washed. However, there are some fruits and vegetables that are safe to substitute organic for conventional, in order to save you some extra cash. Generally, produce with a peel, rind, husk or protective outer layer is less likely to be affected by pesticides and harsh chemical fertilizers. Here are some examples:

Oftentimes, produce that is grown organically isn’t labeled organic on the shelves because the application and inspection process to get it certified by a National Organic Program (NOP) accredited agent can be expensive. Farmers can even have their organic certified label revoked if organic produce simply comes into contact with a conventional produce.

*Skip the organic peanut butter and just go with conventional brands that are low in sugar and free of hydrogenated oils.

-Buy organic meats and animal byproducts. Livestock raised on conventional farms are often given antibiotics and recombinant growth hormones. These become present in the conventional beef, pork, and poultry we eat, along with the eggs, milk, and cheese that we get from these animals. Farmed fish are also a red flag as contaminants can be found in the food they are fed; buy wild-caught fish instead. Organic meats are almost twice as expensive as conventional meats, but the health benefits outweigh the cost.

-Purchase bulk items. Some stores have larger selections than others, but most contain essential foods that have high nutrient densities, like oats, whole grains, beans, nuts, rice, and snacks like trail mix and dried fruits.

-Don’t buy bottled water. It’s expensive and the bottling process is harmful to the environment. Buy yourself a tap filter and a reusable water bottle to take with you on the go. A Brita Faucet Filter shouldn’t run more than $30 anywhere, think of it as a simple investment that will save you hundreds of dollars in the future.

-Shop sale items. This might be stating the obvious, but everyday sale items are usually good buys because most stores have already shopped around locally for you to make sure they are giving you the best price around.

-Shop store brands for packaged foods. They’re cheaper and have the same great taste and nutritional value as big name brands (I.e. Whole Foods has their “365” brand).

-Don’t buy prepared foods. It’s cheaper and healthier to buy the ingredients needed to prepare them yourself.

-Browse coupons and use them! Coupons for natural and organic products are easy to find online, and many stores include them in their print newsletters and catalogues.

Personal Care

-Do some research and avoid dangerous chemicals that can slowly harm your body over time. Personal care products contain large volumes of chemicals, natural and synthetic. Some companies use ingredients that may cause cancer or that are associated with developmental problems. Many cosmetics ingredients penetrate the skin, and people ingest those used on lips and hands and inhale sprays and powders.

Again, shop around. Conventional stores like Target and CVS in fact have good organic personal care, bath and shower, health and skin care, and cosmetic products at affordable prices that are often less than half the cost of similar products found in popular natural health stores.

However, organic or “natural” products sometimes still contain the harmful ingredients we try to avoid. Just because a product label says “all natural” doesn’t mean it is safe. Even plant-based ingredients can be harmful to your body. That’s why it’s important to familiarize yourself with some of the major toxins found in personal care products. Here are a few:

• DEA (diethanolamine), MEA (Monoethanolamiine) & TEA (triethanolamine): Hormone-disrupting chemicals, can form cancer-causing nitrates. Americans exposed 10-20 times per day with shampoos, shaving creams and bubble baths.

• Alcohol, Isopropyl (SD-40): drying, irritating solvent; strips skin’s moisture and immune barrier, makes you vulnerable to bacteria and viruses. Found in shellac, antifreeze and personal care products. Promotes brown spots and premature aging.

• Fragrances: Can contain up to four thousand ingredients (including animal urine), many toxic or carcinogenic. Causes headaches, dizziness, allergic rashes, skin discoloration, violent coughing, vomiting, and skin irritation.

Parabens: Act as preservatives; are present in moisturizers and deodorants. Chemicals in cosmetics can pass through the skin, into the bloodstream and internal organs.

Sulfates: All types of body care products may contain sulfates that have been shown to be highly irritating to the skin and have also been linked to toxicity of the biological systems of the body including cardiovascular (heart), digestive tract and the respiratory system.

-Make your own cleaning products. Baking soda, vinegar, borax, and other common natural household products are good homemade substitutions to expensive certified organic cleaners, laundry detergents and soaps. Many of the ingredients you already own can be used in combination to clean a variety of things:

• Multi-purpose cleaner: Mix a few drops of natural soap, 2 cups water, and 15 drops each of tea tree and lavender essential oil. You can spray this on all surfaces, like cutting boards, counters, toilets and walls.
• Remove indoor air pollutants: Houseplants such as chrysanthemums, English ivy, spider plants, and Boston ferns naturally freshen the air.
• Prevent mold and mildew from becoming a growing problem in the bathroom by keeping a spray bottle filled with 1 cup water and 1 drop tea tree oil handy, for zapping stains.
• Disinfect and deodorize the toilet bowl in a flash. Sprinkle the sides with baking soda, let sit for a few minutes, then drizzle with vinegar. Scrub with a toilet brush and flush.
• Take out tough stains from whites by dabbing spots with a mixture of one part borax and six parts water.

As you can see, there are numerous ways to make shopping organic affordable. Shopping within your budget is attainable. It takes sensible thought and consideration to know what you really need. Following these tips and suggestions will help you get there faster.

References:

1. http://www.epa.gov/osw/conserve/materials/organics/food/fd-basic.htm

2. http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/ss/slideshow-to-buy-or-not-to-buy-organic

3. http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/

4. Healthy Beginnings “Terrible Toxins” pamphlet

5. WOW Cleaning Services: www.wowcleaningreno.com