by Vivian Ruiz |
As Americans are living longer today, many families are faced with providing care for elderly parents. Perhaps you have noticed a loved one struggling with keeping doctor appointments or taking medications. You are doing your best to assist with providing care but are tossing and turning at night, in fear for their safety. You are overwhelmed by the impact this is having on you, your family and work. You are not alone.
AARP estimates that 34 million Americans spend an average of 21 hours a week as unpaid caregivers. Today, many adult-children are challenged with meeting the needs of an aging loved one; it is expected these demands will continue to increase on families. The U.S. Census Bureau projects the senior citizen population to increase by 40 percent in the next five years. By 2050, the population of age 65 and older will more than double in the U.S.
Being a caregiver is not always easy. It requires a great deal of patience, commitment and often a seemingly endless amount of time for all involved. The child and parent relationship can begin to feel the strain within this situation. A parent can feel vulnerable, embarrassed or at the mercy of their own children. This can result in the parent becoming resistant, defensive or even resentful towards loved ones. The parent may express the desire to stay in their own home, keeping their own autonomy, regardless of their physical and mental abilities to care for themselves. The child may struggle with their own internal guilt.
The feelings of restricting or limiting their loved one’s independence, caused by the necessity of making decisions for them can add to the challenge. Many households that care for an elderly parent include sharing tasks with family members such as siblings, spouses and children. Shared care of a loved one can provide many benefits as well as consequences to family relationships. There may come a time when the emotional and physical demands become too overwhelming for everyone involved.
What do you do when the responsibility becomes too much? The most important factors to consider are realizing you need help on determining what type of care assistance is required. Keep in mind when you seek help from other sources, you are assuring your loved one is receiving the quality of care they deserve. Also, with the outside assistance you will be giving back quality time lost due to a child taking the on the role of being the caregiver. Sit down with the parent and discuss care options. Keep in mind that communication and an open mind, for all involved, is essential during this time.
When determining if your loved one will benefit from assistance, consider how they handle the following basic life skills on their own:
- Household maintenance, such as meal planning, cleaning or laundry
- Personal Care, such as bathing, dressing or ambulatory services
- Money management, a representative payee to pay for all financial expenses
- Transportation to doctor appointments, pharmacy or grocery shopping
- Medical assistance, such as ensuring adequate medical care is received or medication management
Assessing these factors first, will assist you in knowing how often services are necessary, therefore, they assist you with obtaining proper care.
After you have determined what type of assistance is necessary, all parties involved should be better prepared to choose a caregiver. For many, hiring an in-home caregiver is the best solution. However, this process can be just as challenging as determining what assistance is needed. The thought of having a stranger coming in the home can be very intimidating. You may have fears of your loved one being taken advantage of, either through theft, exploitation, or worse, abuse. As you know, the caregiver will usually have complete access to everything in the home. In some cases, the caregiver will assist with intimate tasks such as bathing and wardrobe changing, which may raise concerns of vulnerability.
There are many steps you can take when searching for in-home assistance. Some may seek a caregiver on their own; others might choose an agency. It is important to do your homework. If you are contemplating seeking a private caregiver or contractor, you should understand the legal and financial ramifications. According to the IRS, as an individual employer, you may be responsible for social security taxes, payroll taxes, unemployment compensation, interest on owed payments or possible civil fines up to $100,000. With professional agencies, the financial responsibilities are endured by the agency. Also, most professional agencies are both state and federally regulated and are required to perform background checks for their employees on record. Private contracted caregivers are not regulated. If the background check is requested by you, the client, they may request that you also pay for the processing fees associated with such checks, adding to the overall cost. When interviewing caregiver agencies, you should have a list of questions to assist you in making the right choice for your loved one.
Some of the questions you will want to have answered are:
- How long has the agency provided home care assistance in the community?
- Is the agency currently licensed and bonded?
- What are the qualifications of the staff?
- Is there minimum number of days or hours of required services?
- Is assistance available on weekends, evenings and holidays, and is the hourly rate increased during these times?
- Does the agency have after hour services available?
- What are the billing and payment procedures?
- hat insurance plans are accepted?
Choosing a professional agency and caregiver can be a very difficult decision. However, being prepared and knowing the right questions to ask can make a sensitive situation a little easier. You never want to be left asking yourself, “Did we make the right choice?” You want to know that you did.
References:
- www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/age/age_sex_older.html
- www.usatoday.com/money/perfi/eldercare/2007-06-24-elder-care-cover_N.htm
- www.irs.gov/businesses/small/article/0,,id=98164,00.html
For more info, contact Vivian Ruiz, Disability Resources, (775) 329-1126 or visit online at vruiz@disabilityresourcesnv.org.
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